BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings What is the best age gap between siblings?

My brother and I are nearly 4 years apart and my sister is 9.5 years younger than I am. We are all pretty close. My sister is still a teeneager and going through that mess but we are still really close and can talk about everything. I know it was torture for me when my brother was born because I really didnt understand what was going on. I have planned on about 6 years between my kids as I cant imagine having another one right now.

I think 2 years is nice and 2 children is nice. Get all the nappies over at once and enjoy their company.

We had this conversation at work and those that had kids close together said that was best. Others who had them further apart said that was best.

Guess we just make it all work <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I've seen families will all sorts of age gaps and they all work in their own ways. The further apart kids are, the more the sibling relationships a bit more mentoring. The closer together, parents tend to find at least their kids are more or less in the same phase.

Each sort of family has its stressors. Kids spaced close together bring with it the chaos you young kids; kids spaced further apart carry with it kids at different ages and stages.

We can't always plan when our kids will arrive, but one consideration is how long in a parent's life they are actively raising kids. Having kids close together gets them all to college around the same few years and parents move on to the next phase of life. Having them further apart stretches this out. Some parents find this wearing while others don't.

This is a long-winded way of saying what AM just said!

I think the best age gap depends on the personalities of the parents and the older children. If you have a needy 1 year old, chances are they will be needy for a longer period of time and maybe allowing them another year with just mom and no competition would enable them to handle getting a sibling.

If the child is emotionally independent at 1 chances are they will handle having a sibling right away better.

If a parent is coping with one but would become easily overwhelmed by two then waiting would make more sense.

If a parent is not coping well with a baby then waiting a few years until the first one is older is a great idea because then the second time round the parent will have a competent helper and be able to cope better.

I find now that my youngest is 4 that I don't want to have another baby. I know of others who waited until their child was older before they thought about it but then decided they didn't want to go through the baby stage again and never did have anymore.

God knows best though. My friend told me her brother & sister in law just had a baby 4 months ago. She was I think 46 years old and they had two kids already, 16 & 14. She was looking forward to travelling on business with her husband now that the girls were older but then she became pregnant. Here's the clincher, both parents had been fixed and the chances of her getting pregnant were 1 in a million.

my little brother and I are 15 months apart and we're best friends! We have the same friends and we even party together. Now that I'm in college he's lost with out me though <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> the problem is that we've been so depandant on eachother I'm having trouble making friends and being myself without him, and he's been moping aroung the house for a while because we don't see eachother(and its only been a week!)

I pray that my children will be like you and your brother. Although independence is a good thing. You both will find a life without the other but it's great that your friends.

Why do you think you are such great friends? Please share as I hope to instill this into my children.

I really don't know. We're very alike in our views of the world. We're both very responcible and we were allowed to make decisions for ourselves at a very young age. neither of us had rules, or cerfew or anything. Not that our parents didn't care i guess we did a good enough job making decisions for ourselves that they felt that they didn't need to interfear. when we were babies i was jelous of him b/c I had to learn to be a big sister at a little over a year old...so I stole his bottles, I'd have mine in one hand and his in the other. Not just bottles but any food(now we're both wrestlers and i can never make weight, and he's got very little fat on him, i guess he won in the long run)

I met a lady today that had 5 kids.... the oldest 20 and the youngest 12. 5 kids in 8 years ... Too chaotic for me!!!!

However I did want more siblings, preferrably sisters, Someone I'd really get a long with.. oh well it was not to be!!!

In my family i have 5 siblings. there is a 11,12,14, and two 16 year age gaps between me and my siblings. I'm the oldest at 17, the two youngest are 4 and 6 months old. i get along pretty well with them but I'm more of a 2nd care taker for my moms kids, which is fine. the next oldest will be starting school this year as I start my senior year of high school. I've bonded with them all pretty well, though the bond is kind of strange because I've helped take care of 3 of them since they were born seeing as my mom is a single parent. i think that its kind of too big of an age gap unless you also have other kids who are closer in age to the oldest. my view and experience on it, thought I'd post.