This is why marriage can be so difficult: People don't always behave rationally. Of course, it is entirely unfair that he plays video games while you work, go to school and clean the house.
Marriage counseling is the most difficult of all the branches of psychology/counseling because it involves *two* people, not one client, and encouraging change when one party may not want change at all.
That he got fired for insubordination gives you a big clue into his psyche. He probably has a subconscious resistance to authority.
Your setting rules will be met with resistance. The truth is that although he is "wrong" or "unfair" in regards to your relationship issues, unless he wants to change, he won't.
He has to experience some major motivation to change by either experiencing more pain by staying as is or more pleasure through changing. Many wives achieve this by making the situation entirely unpleasant (nagging, divorce threats, misery, arguments) coupled with positive reinforcement when they see the changes they want (happiness, respect, compliments, sex).
I'm not saying to do this; I'm saying that this is what marital conflict eventually comes down to because it is a natural reaction.
Some husbands are resistant no matter what and they will choose to leave the marriage to escape the negatives rather than make necessary changes to stay in the relationship. There has to be bigger reasons to stay and change to accommodate the other spouse.
Last edited by Lori - Marriage; 02/21/13 12:03 PM.
