well fair is fair right I posted the questians taht every Christian should know right so i should be able to answer my self. righ? here goes. I was born in to a it. my dad believe in God and Jesus's teaching but did not believe in church and its plotics. my mom when to a Nazerine church until my dad died of a heart attack when i was 5. We still believed in God but it was more of what i believe is between God and me not open for convertation even between mother and daughter. I was about 11 or 12 when one of the church ladies my mom was friends with called and said she would pick me up for church if i would help her in the nursy. I am an only child and the fact she need my help with babies and the fact that if any one needs help im the first in line. i said yes. I took care of one little baby boy with her for about 3 months. my aunt goes to the same church so i knew some of the people and most of them new me. i found a Sunday school class and stayed in the nursy to for church and i would hear the chior praciesing before church and i love to sing and could pick up a new song quick with out music and one day they were short on altos and the lady in the nursy said you can do sing in the chior if you want to they are short and i dont think any one would mind. so i did. I start chior practous every sunday and they have adlut Bible studyes that i loved because i could ask question that would make them think about thing in another way. In school I had a friend that would read a satanic bible and one that was into witchcraft and read spells and i would read the Bible. i never though to put them down for there believes they did not do that to me. but when i said something in church about my friends. i got leatured. I wanted to be a missornary but i did not know that at the time (ok idid know it i just had not named it that yet). i heard a song Gangsters Paradice and there is a line that stuck in my mind "how can you teach me if you cant reachme I guess you cant i guess you wont i guess you front that why i know my life is out of luck ya'll"
i know it a rap song and not christian but God used it to drive home the point how can you help someone if you dont bather to find out whats wrong. just because my friend studyed a satanic Bible did not mean that was his problem and that should be what i helped him change.( by the way he is a chirstian now and no one convertied him BUT GOD.)
after i droped out of high school i felt led to be a missonary at an Nazerine boarding school in AZ. i worked as a dish washer. after a while there i saw... let me tel you theis story because it points it out better:
one day i was in the kids chapel (ages 5to 9)severvice. the head of the Dorm supervier stood up to testefiy and i will never for get what he said. "I would like to take all on the Navajo and Hopi and anyother trip, calolics,morman, Jahova witness, (these are all of the main religans on the reservation and all the kids were Navajo and Hopi) and all the satanic people of the world and put them in the chaple with 2 ft of gas and strik amatch while all the good christians watch them burn." I figure i was tired and he was making some sort of point. I worked in the little girls dorm that night i had 30 girls to put to bed. my and a friend went to do bed check and could not find my girls in the las room and in one bed all my girls were there...terafied ( the Navaj and Hopis are very literal people) the started sreaming dont burn us and they were in a panic. we clamed they down.
the next day i went to the adminasterator to ask what the other guy realy said there was no way he could have ment it the way me and the kids took it. but that is exacly what he said and ment when i ask why he did not stop him he said freedom of speech and he agreed with him. I was there almost a year when this happend i leaved and came home. to my surpriase i was a failer in the eyes of my home church. my once close as family love me forever church die to me when a lady i had never met came up to me in front of my paster and friends and said "I am so glad you are right with God again! Now all you have to do is give up you drugs and alcolhal and the men your sleeping with and you can be saved. I was a virgin and never been on a date. the only drugs that i took was insulin and i am sure God approves. and being dieabetic and alchole dont mix well.
so i quit church, the whole bit if thats what it is to be christian i dont want any of it. i tryed to commit suicide after that and was put in the povilaion for 3 days.I started smoking, priced my toungue, and died my hair black. there were a few in the church who ignored my hair and periceing and the fack i wore black closths. i was still the same person( at this time i was 21). it was through them taht i realize it was not God that i did not want any thing of if was the polatics.one of the kids said some thing to me while we were working in the kitchon at the school..." the Bible talks about Jesus and I believe He is a great man and your Gods Son, but i cant believe in a one day aweek god who hes people know so little about or understand." I feel the same way
the hardest to convert are those who think they believe.
I feel God has called me to be a missoinary to the church. ifeel led to learn about and under stand other religans and cultures. while i dont believe you can marry two reliegons at this time i think it is important to find commen repect andunderstand that we are not enamies at war we are here to help one anther and let God convert people in His time and way.
